It`s been awhile again but i felt like i need to talk somewhere about this and i decided to do a blog post but then i started to think that i`m trying to do posts abut photography and i can`t just randomly make one blog post without any photos. I try my best to combine photos to text..
( i write only in my own perspective and experiences)
This christmas is my first christmas after i got help to my depression & anxiety. Two past years including christmases have been difficult to me especially mentally, because at first all my powers have gone to me being super anxious about christmas time and still i feel super quilty and stressed about getting any christmas presents, i think like "i dont deserve any of these and no one should waste their money on me". Thing i stressed the most "did i make it clear that i liked that present". It was more nervewrecking than anything good to me. I miss that christmas joy/spirit what i had when i was a child. This christmas is gonna be different but i don`t have that joy anymore, i might be more present than earlier. I noticed couple weeks ago one thing, that when i didn`t had any help/support to my mental illnesses i think that just trying to surive with my thoughts took all my powers so i didn`t noticed how peoples around me really feels. This time i noticed that i try to see how peoples are feeling and i feel like others happiness is way more important than my own. Which kinda feels like that took all the powers and i just feel like i need to make sure others are good.
Now i do my best to explane with photos how my mental illnesses might make see christmas and i also try to make comparison to two years ago and how i feel now. Photos are gonna be christmas(y).
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| "no joy, no light" photography: @kuukkeli_photography |
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| "things seems more clear and you have found light" photography: @kuukkeli_photography |
Next post might happend next year so happy new year too! :)
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