Christmas & mental illness

Hi!
It`s been awhile again but i felt like i need to talk somewhere about this and i decided to do a blog post but then i started to think that i`m trying to do posts abut photography and i can`t just randomly make one blog post without any photos. I try my best to combine photos to text..

( i write only in my own perspective and experiences)

This christmas is my first christmas after i got help to my depression & anxiety. Two past years including christmases have been difficult to me especially mentally, because at first all my powers have gone to me being super anxious about christmas time and still i feel super quilty and stressed about getting any christmas presents, i think like "i dont deserve any of these and no one should waste their money on me". Thing i stressed the most "did i make it clear that i liked that present". It was more nervewrecking than anything good to me. I miss that christmas joy/spirit what i had when i was a child. This christmas is gonna be different but i don`t have that joy anymore, i might be more present than earlier. I noticed couple weeks ago one thing, that when i didn`t had any help/support to my mental illnesses i think that just trying to surive with my thoughts took all my powers so i didn`t noticed how peoples around me really feels. This time i noticed that i try to see how peoples are feeling and i feel like others happiness is way more important than my own. Which kinda feels like that took all the powers and i just feel like i need to make sure others are good.

Now i do my best to explane with photos how my mental illnesses might make see christmas and i also try to make comparison to two years ago and how i feel now. Photos are gonna be christmas(y).

"no joy, no light"
photography: @kuukkeli_photography

"things seems more clear and you have found light"
photography: @kuukkeli_photography

 I hope this makes any sense and helps someone. This is all for now, I wish everyone peaceful and happy christmas time to everyone who celebrates it, the rest i wish good day and happiness!
Next post might happend next year so happy new year too! :)

                                                                          - kuukkeli_photography

Photography is (like) therapy & film photography

Hi !
It`s been awhile and I have some things to write here. I have been thinking a lot about couple of photography progresses and I can`t wait to start making those. That`s all what i`m gonna tell more about those progresses for now but i`m going to try my best and make blog posts about those progresses. I already had couple things in my mind to share here earlier but "better late or never".

It have happened a lot in this month. But one thing have been in my mind so far. Quote; "photography is (like) therapy" and i started to think that time when i was suffering worst kind of anxiety. Only cure at the time was focusing taking photographs of my surroundings with my phone. That quote come up to mind while i was scrolling through Pinterest. It sounds like nothing but irl phone have been own kind of savior to me. I know that you might not see all the stuff through your phone but it helped me to get outside of my house easier and it made me less anxious. It`s easy way to get distracted about your surroundings and also feel lot better and less anxious while going for a walk etc? Be careful and make sure you don`t get too distracted to your phone.

Next thing I would like to write about is Film photography. So we got a chance to test film cameras and took two films full of photos. It`s was way more exiting experience and it felt way more easier that normal digital camera. Especially i liked that part where photos get developed to the film. At first I was super anxious about going to the dark room to open the film, i didn`t done it with first film but I decided to go and try it with my other film. I spent one hour in dark room opening that film but i get it done after all and i didn`t get anxious. It got quite frustrated when i tried to scroll the film but i did it!  There is couple of my film photos.

Window to winter
photography: @kuukkeli_photography

Trees
photography: @kuukkeli_photography

                   This is all for now, i hope everyone a good christmas and winter time !
                                                                                                        - kuukkeli_photography

Vacation

Hi !

It`s been awhile and now might be little bit too late to tell about autumn vacation. I`m gonna write about it anyway. It was a week and first days I kept missing school and the way how school gives some kind of time schedule. I feel like that I live for time schedule`s and that I have reason to get out of my bed and do something. I thought that vacation might be a good thing but I felt how being at home feed my depression. I had time to mess my sleeping schedule too. After all that bad I took some photos and now i`m going to share few of those + some extra photos what I have been taking after/before vacation. Hope you enjoy.

Decoration & positive
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Plants & ghost effect
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

First snow
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Moon
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

All of the photos are different but I liked to experience something new and I was amazed about that Moon photo. It was a moment when I felt that I have learned something new and I like it a lot. This is all for now. Thank you if you read this and have a good weekend!
                                                                                                    - kuukkeli_photography

City and Landscapes

Hello,
it`s been awhile once again, this week I got inspiration to write something over here.
Last Wednesday we went to Helsinki and i took some pictures. We went to Kaapelitehdas and it was my first time over there, I really liked that place. There was super comfy coffee shop and intresting photography exhibition. In Helsinki we went to visit Finnish Museum of Photography, Photographic Gallery Hippolyte and Gallery Luova. I took some pictures around Helsinki and mostly buildings/architecture.

Kaapelitehdas, Helsinki
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Kaapelitehdas, Helsinki
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Part of space art in Kaapelitehdas
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Jukka Male photography exhibition
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Gallery Hippolyte`s  inner ward
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Aesthetically pleasing painted building
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

On Thursday we took photos around the different kind of landscapes. Our destinations were Kiikunlähde & Jokimaa`s bird-watching tower.  Nature and landscape photography is my thing more than any other kind of photography.

Road to Kiikunlahde
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Kiikunlahde
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Kiikunlahde
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

More kiikunlahde
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Road to bird-wathing tower
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Landscape around bird-watching tower
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Bird-watching tower
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

More landscape
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Trees
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Landscape
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Bird
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Spiders
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Heart shaped bird nest
Photo by. kuukkeli_photography

Trees in different angle
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

Trees in new angle
Photo by: kuukkeli_photography

                               This is all for now hopefully you like these as much I liked to take photos!
                                                                                                           - kuukkeli_photography

                                                                   

First week in Sudio

Hi!
This week in our school we learned to use studio and taking photos, lightning etc. I`m going to post couple of my classmate`s photos in here and maybe some of my own photos of succulent plant but we will see. It was exiting to wear this costume after 3 years of not using it, it`s always fun to get back to wearing Ezio Auditore costume.

Photo by: Päivi
Model/cosplayer: @kuukkeli_photography

Photo by: Päivi
Model/cosplayer: @kuukkeli_photography

Photo by: Päivi
Model/cosplayer: @kuukkeli_photography

Photo by: Päivi
Model/cosplayer: @kuukkeli_photography

This is all for now, thank you so much if you read this and i try to start writing more. In future i`m going to add more photos than writing so maybe it`s more intresting that way.
                                                                                        - kuukkeli_photography

Tracon 2017 & Photography stuff

Hi everyone !

Here i'm in saturday evening once again trying to create this post finally. Writing & ideas are not easy to find/get but right now i have been thinking couple of things. Which i would like to mention and tell my thought/opinions about it. First something about convention. 

Tracon 2017 

It was my 4th or 5th Tracon where i have been, it's still my favourite and "have to get there" convention to me. This year one difference was that it was 3 days long, we went there on saturday and sunday. I cosplayed Noctis Caelum (FFXV) & Hogwarts student from Hufflepuff (HP). Neither of those cosplays weren't very challenging and i didn't had terrible stress about my cosplays like i usually do. I found one very intresting competition in convention and my dream is to get my photography skills to that level that i'm going to have guts to be part of 'cosplay photoshoot'- competition. It would be amazing i have also dreamed to be part of some cosplay competition but i don't know. I like personally more to be behind the camera and take photographs than being infront of camera. After 5 years of being cosplayer i'm still camera shy and terrible about making poses, that part i need to try to work on my best. I hope after this year of studying photography i can be better at taking photographs, giving advices & posing. In the end of this part i'm gonna add one/couple of my own cosplay photos. 

( Photography by: @banaaniarse) 

Now some photography stuff what i have been thinking. 

This week we had at school a course called Printlab where we focused photoshopping own pictures to way or another. We used Lightroom & Photoshop. After that i just started thinking that what if now after learning to make photos look 'better' in photoshop i'm worried that what if i start to feel that it's neccessary to make something to photos. It was nice to learn to make some changes to photos and i'm still learning but i'm slightly worried how photoshop centered i'm going to be later. I don't mean photoshop/photoshopping pictures is bad until you change the reality. This is all for now what have been in my mind lately and in next post i'm going to write & finally show some photos what i have been taking in two months what i have been studying photography. In every picture i'm going to write the task what we had to do and gonna add some information of my camera settings the best i can. 

This is all for now, chilly autumn to everyone. ! :) 

                                - kuukkeli_photography 

About me...

Hello.

This is my first post here and in this post i`m going to tell a little about myself.
 I`m a fresh photography student from Finland. I have started to take photographs nearly 5/6 years ago and now in this Folk High School Of Arts  i learn more about technical side about photography, it`s exiting. Besides photography my other hobby near to my heart is cosplay and photography is one really big part of cosplay (imo).  My intrests in taking photographs are cosplay/portrait, nature & polaroid pictures. As this year goes forward i`m going to post here photos what i have took. When i post pics i try my best to add informations about it. Sooner or later i`m going to make post about Tracon and i`m gonna add some pics what i have took. Not a big promises that i`m going to write here regulary but when i feel like it.
                                                             - Thank you for reading this, I hope you liked it!

Sunflowers by: kuukkeli_photography