Christmas & mental illness

Hi!
It`s been awhile again but i felt like i need to talk somewhere about this and i decided to do a blog post but then i started to think that i`m trying to do posts abut photography and i can`t just randomly make one blog post without any photos. I try my best to combine photos to text..

( i write only in my own perspective and experiences)

This christmas is my first christmas after i got help to my depression & anxiety. Two past years including christmases have been difficult to me especially mentally, because at first all my powers have gone to me being super anxious about christmas time and still i feel super quilty and stressed about getting any christmas presents, i think like "i dont deserve any of these and no one should waste their money on me". Thing i stressed the most "did i make it clear that i liked that present". It was more nervewrecking than anything good to me. I miss that christmas joy/spirit what i had when i was a child. This christmas is gonna be different but i don`t have that joy anymore, i might be more present than earlier. I noticed couple weeks ago one thing, that when i didn`t had any help/support to my mental illnesses i think that just trying to surive with my thoughts took all my powers so i didn`t noticed how peoples around me really feels. This time i noticed that i try to see how peoples are feeling and i feel like others happiness is way more important than my own. Which kinda feels like that took all the powers and i just feel like i need to make sure others are good.

Now i do my best to explane with photos how my mental illnesses might make see christmas and i also try to make comparison to two years ago and how i feel now. Photos are gonna be christmas(y).

"no joy, no light"
photography: @kuukkeli_photography

"things seems more clear and you have found light"
photography: @kuukkeli_photography

 I hope this makes any sense and helps someone. This is all for now, I wish everyone peaceful and happy christmas time to everyone who celebrates it, the rest i wish good day and happiness!
Next post might happend next year so happy new year too! :)

                                                                          - kuukkeli_photography

Photography is (like) therapy & film photography

Hi !
It`s been awhile and I have some things to write here. I have been thinking a lot about couple of photography progresses and I can`t wait to start making those. That`s all what i`m gonna tell more about those progresses for now but i`m going to try my best and make blog posts about those progresses. I already had couple things in my mind to share here earlier but "better late or never".

It have happened a lot in this month. But one thing have been in my mind so far. Quote; "photography is (like) therapy" and i started to think that time when i was suffering worst kind of anxiety. Only cure at the time was focusing taking photographs of my surroundings with my phone. That quote come up to mind while i was scrolling through Pinterest. It sounds like nothing but irl phone have been own kind of savior to me. I know that you might not see all the stuff through your phone but it helped me to get outside of my house easier and it made me less anxious. It`s easy way to get distracted about your surroundings and also feel lot better and less anxious while going for a walk etc? Be careful and make sure you don`t get too distracted to your phone.

Next thing I would like to write about is Film photography. So we got a chance to test film cameras and took two films full of photos. It`s was way more exiting experience and it felt way more easier that normal digital camera. Especially i liked that part where photos get developed to the film. At first I was super anxious about going to the dark room to open the film, i didn`t done it with first film but I decided to go and try it with my other film. I spent one hour in dark room opening that film but i get it done after all and i didn`t get anxious. It got quite frustrated when i tried to scroll the film but i did it!  There is couple of my film photos.

Window to winter
photography: @kuukkeli_photography

Trees
photography: @kuukkeli_photography

                   This is all for now, i hope everyone a good christmas and winter time !
                                                                                                        - kuukkeli_photography